


Friendship and Confession

by Dragon-Who-Writes (messed_up_reader)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas and Sam talk about Dean, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Gen, M/M, Okay Dean and Benny are just mentioned and don't appear in the story, Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Post-Episode AU: s08e21 The Great Escapist, PurGAYtory | The Inherent Homoeroticism of the Purgatory Arc (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Being an Idiot, Sam Winchester if they actually wrote him as weird as he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messed_up_reader/pseuds/Dragon-Who-Writes
Summary: Takes place sort of between Episodes 21 and 22 in Season 8. A bit of an AU if Cas and Dean didn't fight super hard at the beginning of Episode 22. Basically Cas confesses his love for Dean to Sam and Sam finds a friend to be as weird with as he always wants to be.
Relationships: Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 12





	Friendship and Confession

Cas was beginning to truly befriend Sam. He had kept the man at a distance, he was somewhat annoying, overly friendly, and had a complicated past. Plus Cas was always a little more interested in what Dean was doing. But after Purgatory, he started to warm up to Sam. Turns out he wasn’t half bad. Cas guessed taking on Lucifer’s damage to Sam’s soul had something to do with warming up to the man. Cas had always gotten along with Dean. Well, they fought, but he knew Dean still appreciated him despite everything they had been through. 

They were hanging out in the Bunker together while Sam rested from the effects of the second trial. It had taken a greater toll on him than he was telling anyone. Cas saw it. But more because he was an angel and less because Sam wasn’t doing a great job at hiding it. It worked out well, though, because Cas was still working through the effects of his lobotomy at the hands of Naomi. Dean was out on a beer run so they were doing some research in the library, trying to figure out how to cure a demon for the third trial. 

Sam looked over at Cas, “How are you doing? We all keep talking about me because of all the trial stuff, but you . . .”

“Ah,” Cas smirked and turned to face Sam across the table, “I . . . I am not sure. I’ve realized some things because of it, and of course there is trying to come to terms with the fact that my own kind hate what I’ve become so much, they felt the need to lie and manipulate me to help them. I don’t even know their end game, which is why I still have the . . .” 

“The Angel Tablet? Did you try reading it before Crowley got it?”

Cas grimaced at the reminder that he lost the Angel Tablet, and also because his wound was healing more slowly than he would have liked, “No, I didn’t want to know what’s on it. I still don’t. I’m currently struggling with caring for the big picture. Besides only a prophet can really read it.” 

“But you wouldn’t let Kevin take a look at it?”

“He needed to focus on the Demon Tablet. And I don’t know if any of it should be read in the first place. Maybe God just wrote them to make himself feel better about leaving. Although Crowley having it is probably the worst option,” Cas said, still struggling with having an absent father, and failing at protecting what his father did, again. 

Sam nodded, the Angel had a point. He had noticed something in the way Cas said he ‘realized some things’, and decided to push further. 

“Any other realizations from your fun with the angel lobotomy?”

Cas glanced at Sam, trying to decipher what he was asking, and if it was safe to tell him the truth, “Your brother,” he started and then he couldn’t help but smile, “freed me. Again. For the thousandth time. It seems he unlocks the truest parts of me every single time someone or something tries to get in the way of them. I know Crowley assumed it was touching the tablet that broke the spell, but it was Dean.”

Sam just sat, staring at Cas, willing him to admit what Sam suspected. 

“I realized that I am in love with him. And no amount of reprogramming could change that.”

Cas was grinning, a real smile, when he looked up at Sam. 

“You’re good Cas. You are so good. And Dean could use something good. Why don’t you tell him what you realized?”

Cas deflated. “I’m not ‘good’ Sam,” Cas said, shaking his head, putting actual air quotes around good. “I’ve rebelled so many times, killed so many, both humans and angels, and I freed evil from purgatory.” 

Sam rolled his eyes. “The thing is Cas, that isn’t what makes you good or bad. You were trying so hard to make things better or prevent worse things when you did all of that. You fight against evil and try so hard to atone for all your alleged sins. Besides Dean doesn’t see you as bad. Yeah. He is pissed right now. Because you lied to us and then up and left. He is just bitter. He will get over it. Dean doesn’t hold grudges long for people he cares about. I would know. And you would be good for Dean. He’s been having a rough time with the whole Benny thing.” 

Cas paused. Debating if he should tell Sam the truth about Purgatory and all they went through. Then he spoke, “Did you know they were together in Purgatory?”

Sam started a bit, “No. I thought Dean might like him that way. He acted a similar way with Benny as he did you. But I didn’t know he ever acted on the fact he seemed to like guys. Dean never told me he liked guys, but I’m not  _ that _ stupid.”

Then Sam realizes why it was hurting Dean so much, “Oh my god, he had to kill his ex. And I didn’t bring him back.” He slumped back and whispers, “ _ Fuck. _ ”

Cas noded. “When you finally quit seeing Amelia, Dean went through a similar thing with Benny. He had been acting differently with me after he and Benny found me in Purgatory. They had already gotten together, but I don’t know if you know this, but Dean and I have always, there has been tension. And Benny noticed this, so it was a little awkward in Purgatory. I felt like I was competing with Benny for Dean’s attention. I didn’t like it. At all. I got jealous, Benny got jealous, and Dean was confused. He didn’t know how to deal with wanting at all, but especially not when it was even a little split. But he couldn’t leave Benny. He really cared.”

Sam rolled his eyes. He wasn’t blind. The tension between Cas and Dean was painfully obvious even if you tried to not see it.

“Anyways, yes. Dean killed Benny after breaking up with him. Benny sacrificed himself, half because he was having a hard time up here, especially separated from Dean, but also just because Dean asked him. Purgatory makes you primal. And their feelings for eachother started there. It may be why Dean felt safe to act on those feelings with a man for the first time. I didn’t feel like I could compete. Also I was still trying to atone for my many mistakes.”

Sam sighed, Dean and Cas really were perfect for each other. Both refused to forgive themselves for any mistakes, even if the people they hurt forgive them. “Wait, I thought you said you realized you loved Dean when he broke you free from angel brainwashing?”

“There is always a part of me that knew, but I kept pushing it away because I shouldn’t feel this way. Angels shouldn’t be able to fall in love. So there was a part of me that didn’t think it was real. That he was just my friend. And between the breaking me free and Purgatory primal feelings, I finally realized that I do in fact love Dean Winchester.”

“I still cannot believe Dean dated a vamp.”

Cas is confused. Of all people Sam shouldn’t judge falling in love with ‘monster’. “All of that and that is what you cannot understand, Sam?”

“I mean. I just. He hates vampires.”

“Sam. You dated, drank the blood of, and freed Lucifer with your demon girlfriend. I think you can give Dean a pass for loving a Vampire.” 

“Well yeah, but it’s different.”

“Yes. Objectively Dean sinned less than you.”

Sam glared at Cas. He was not exactly keen to remember he started the end of times because he was high off demon blood. He put his face in his hands and sighed, “Okay, fine. You have a point, but it is odd.”

“Possibly,” Cas conceded, “but we have experienced weirder.”

“I cannot believe I used to drink demon blood,” Sam said, chuckling. Somehow able to laugh at the memories instead of panic. 

“You were predestined for it when you were a child.”

Sam saw an opportunity to answer a question he has had for a while in the silence that lingered, “You know, I was wondering if anything would happen if I drank Angel blood instead. Would that have any affect?”

Cas contemplated this for a moment before saying, “I’m not sure. You really were only meant to drink demon blood since the ritual the Yellow Eyed Demon performed when you were a child.”

Cas sat for another moment before saying, “We could test it out.”

Sam perked up, relieved Cas didn’t find it weird. He wasn’t craving anything, but he was wondering about the extent of his powers. It seemed to be a shame to have something that could help with hunting and not use it. 

Cas grabbed an empty mug and transferred some of his blood to it. He never minded bleeding for Wichesters. Also he had been curious about the nature of Sam’s powers as well. 

Sam grabbed the mug of Angel blood, raised it in a toast, and chugged. He never minded the taste. And angel blood was less bitter than that of demons. 

“Dean would have an aneurysm if he knew what we were doing,” He said as he set the now empty mug down. 

“He had a vampire boyfriend, why should he judge the boy with psychic demon-given gifts?”

Sam chuckled, tossed his head back, and said “We are all fucking horrible.”

Cas chuckled as well, “Yes. We are bad. Do you feel anything?”

Sam thought about it. He didn’t feel like he could exorcise demons with his mind or anything, but he did feel stronger. Not perfect. Not a before the trials started kind of good. But not quite as shitty. “I don’t think your blood gives me powers, but I do feel stronger. It also kind of tingles. Like. I almost feel a little buzzed. What would drinking angel blood do to most people?”

“Most likely kill them. Or at least cause some pain. Divinity is not meant to be consumed”

Sam sat straight up, “And you let me drink it?!” 

Cas rolled his eyes, “I was mostly sure it wouldn’t hurt you. The essence of all supernatural beings is similar. Especially that of demons and angels. But no one is willing to admit that.”

Sam began laughing, “Oh my god, our lives are so strange.”

“Possibly. But it isn’t bad.”

Sam looked at Cas, serious again, “Please tell Dean. I won’t say anything, but I think it would do you both some good. To have someone. To have hope.”

What Sam didn’t say is that he wanted Dean to have someone to love and care for if he died at the end of these trials. And wished Cas a good life as well. He felt more like a friend of the angel since he proved his humanity by taking responsibility for his mistakes. He was glad he could be friends with the man, or he guessed, angel, that his brother loved. 

Cas turned and looked at the stairs Dean would return down, “Maybe. I just don’t want to scare him.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is most likely a one-shot. I am shit at writing remotely consistently. I think the last fanfic I wrote before this was 1.5 to 2 years ago. So we will call it a one-shot with an open end. Also this friendship is inspired my many tumblr posts during this Supernatural Renaissance.


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